| Time | Moon | Mood | Song |
|---|---|---|---|
| The MIDDLE of the afternoon | Who knows | Apathetic Malding (negative) | Youtube |
Happy Leap Day. Currently still sick, have been since last Thursday or Friday. My chest is tight and my fever refuses to break. Three COVID tests later and I can squarely say it isn't that at least. Even so, I think I'm going to call my doctor or go to urgent care, though a part of me wonders if they'll just send me home with ibuprofen. Chances of this? Likely.Well. I watched a playthrough of Final Fantasy VII Rebirth for myself and wow, uh, What A Ride. I won't share any spoilers here but let's say I'm juggling multiple stages of grief at once. Like okay, sure, clerith clears and clerith are soulmates and it's clerith all day and all the time, and the direction that the story seems to be taking is evident etc etc etc., but it's like. I (personally) Won But At What Cost (everything).
My expectations were already low for the any potential plot changes judging from the Remake (which I had mixed feelings on as a project to begin with), but WOW! No hate if anyone enjoys it, nothing personal, but it's just so far removed about what I love about the OG FFVII and its themes and narratives. What's all the more frustrating is how certain sects of fandom are willing to overlook what's indefensibly bad writing at certain points for their ships BUT! I digress! Whatever!
Also, full disclosure (and because it has to be said because of how intent people can be about ""proving"" the ""canonity"" of things lmao) my complaints are not about certain ships or whatever, so please do not make that assumption. *COUGH MOST OF IT IS ABOUT BARRET AND DYNE'S ARC, CID'S CHARACTER BEING NEUTURED, NOT TO MENTION THE ENDING AMONG OTHER THINGS, COUGH*
At this point I'm just along for the ride to see how it all shakes out. But prepare for an incoming rant on my Aerith shrine and media log––and shoutout to all my friends who have listened to my rambles. I'm super fortunate to have an awesome group of them who understand where I'm coming from, regardless of taste and preferences.
Apologies for this me being mostly complaining. It's been four years since I've been sick with a virus and it's weighing on me, I guess.
| Time | Moon | Mood | Song |
|---|---|---|---|
| Midday | A waxing crescent of sorts | Dauncey a la I Love Lucy (without the pregnancy | The ticking of the clock |
Woke up this morning feel like PMS has hit me like a truck. Because it has hit me like a truck. Now it's just barely a half hour past new and I'm already hoping that tomorrow is a better day.Reading back my last paragraph... my first thought is "that's really no way to think!" Or way to live, at that. Just sitting and waiting for another chance while turning your nose up at what's in front––in this case a whole day bursting with opportunity.
A lesson I'm continually learning is to go easy on myself on days where I feel this way, to not punish myself for not "doing enough", especially when so much is out of my control. Hormones, as the kids, really just be like that. A part of me wants to tell them "well, where's my agency?" However, I already know the answer to that: agency is found in focusing on what's in my control and what isn't. Easier said than done at times, but here we are.
Even so, I want to make the most of things, so what shall I do? Start the Bookbug book? Play a game? Draw, dream? We shall see! At the very least I know this much: 1. Life is dynamic, nothing is static; this too shall pass. 2. Whatever you think or believe about yourself is probably false in the days before your bleed.
| Time | Moon | Mood | Song |
|---|---|---|---|
| Shower Time | Last Quarter in Scorpio | Just fine! | None |
Testing, testing! Have I turned the diary page to February?! Sure looks like it! One month into 2024 and we're finally ready to roll with this year's blog entries. 
I'm not being hard on myself about it though. The first half was plagued by Tummy Troubles (and we'll leave it at that!) and then the reset was adjusting to being back at work. And also like... not having too much to talk about! But I don't think that I need an "occasion" to write. If it resonates, then it's worth remembering. Worth sharing.
Let's take yesterday, then. Yesterday I saw three rainbows. The first at work, the second while there out my window, and the last heralding my way home. All three were misty, pale as a dream. Muted yes, but still a wash of color across the sky. Enough to be seen; they wanted to be seen. I take it as a good omen for what's to come next. Maybe we will all find the rainbow's end.
